"START BLOGGING PUBLICLY" is one of those goals that's squatted in my brain for over a decade now. I've nursed many goals to preteen age, including "complete more polished illustrations" and "figure out color and lighting" and "eat some damn vegetables, you're going to get polyps."
In the last few years, I've made steady progress on my long-standing goals. I now have a portfolio of commissioned illustrations, essays, and stories, and a body replete with vitamins.
Still, I've played it safe. I've frequently publish pseudonymously or churn out sketches that I never show anyone. I only share my work when I am assured of its value, after days of nipping and tucking each sentence. I self-censor most of what I make, because the world is already drowning in slurry, and I am loath to ladle on more.
BUT. Who's to say my slurry won't be mineral-rich? I've had to sidestep enough crap on the internet, but I've also found writing (and art) that's enlightening, enlivening, and enriching.
I have other worries, too. I'm worried about how my thinking will change. What if I start to ceaselessly monitor my mind? What if blogging starts to feel like caging my most precious thoughts and taming them for exhibition? And what if I'm depriving myself of time to work on worthier, more difficult forms of writing, like fiction and criticism?
What if, what if. What if it's fucking amazing?
If it sucks, I'll stop. If not, I'll keep going. I'll probably keep going anyway, because the masochistic streak is strong in this one.
I intend to write about media, the creative process, and perhaps career & workplace matters. All those years I had "BLOG MORE" as a resolution, I used to work my mind into a froth, trying to figure out what the hell I'd write about—international development? economics? philosophy? capitalism? fandom? editing? pastries? ice cream???—and in the end, I never wrote about any of it. So screw all of that.
I will know this experiment has gone well only after I have reaped the following rewards:
- Learned to write with an audience in mind
- Honed my ability to communicate ideas
- Learned not to give a damn about audience size or external validation
- Come to believe the ideas/creations I put into the world have worth and are no burden
- Traveled toward intellectual destinations I cannot presently fathom
- Discovered facets of my own thinking
- Started conversations and formed unlikely connections
- Transformed into an uncommonly hilarious and witty individual
Finally, many forces conspired to get me to start blogging, but these posts are especially worth noting: